6 Things To Keep In Mind When You Say 'No' To Your Child
| Offshoot Books
As parents, we want to give the best to our children. We want them to grow in an environment where love and harmony reigns and they aren't deprived of the smallest of things. In fact, at times, parents go a step ahead in catering to the child's needs and shower them with things they don't even need.
Though the child happily enjoys the love and attention bestowed upon her/him, it may become a matter of concern if the parent starts indulging their child quite often. More so, there could be cases when the child starts to make demands and throws tantrums if there needs are not fulfilled.
In such a situation, what are parents supposed to do? How are they to act, and say 'no' without hurting the child's sentiments while making them realise the difference between needs and wants. When in a fix, you can try these 6 ways.
1. Understand their viewpoint: When you first hear your child's request to have something, your first reaction, on the basis of what is being asked, is to simply say 'no'. While it may seem the most logical thing to do, it is also important to understand the child's psychology. At times, there can be various reasons that guide the child's demand. Before completely dismissing their demands, try to understand your child and her/his demand and then reason out.
2. Teach the importance and value of the thing demanded: It is important to teach the child that every thing has a value and that it should not be taken for granted. That is the reason why the things they demand do not come to them easily. They have to work hard for it. Start with small things. Ask them to finish their homework, study well, clean their room, or do a good deed. This will not only help them understand their lesson but also inculcate good habits in them.
3. Be firm in your resolve: As parents, no matter how hard we try to be strict with our kids, we tend to give up at the sight of their innocent faces. We cannot bear to see them sad but at times, we need to understand that being a little firm will be beneficial for their child in the long run. So, next time when you say 'no' to your child, stick to it. Your resolve will make your child realise that you are serious about what you say.
4. Give them a choice: When your child refuses to budge from their stance and you know things may take a turn for the worse, try to handle the situation in the best possible manner. One way out could be by giving your child alternatives to choose from. If they've set a long list of things they want, let them choose one that's of most importance to them. Do not compromise on it. And, also make it hard to get. As mentioned earlier, do not give in to their demands easily. Teach them the importance and only when they've decided to earn it fair and square, do reward them.
5. Tell them tales: Did you hear what happened to the little boy who did not finish his meals? Santa included him in the list of 'bad kids'. Or the girl down the street who refused to brush her teeth at night? The Tooth Fairy did not visit her when her teeth fell.Telling tales of what can happen if the child continues to throw tantrums is a good way to get the child's attention. Tales not only keep the child engrossed but the consequences of not listening to the parents also remains with them.
6. Join their team: When nothing works, join your child's team and tell her/him that you too wish to enjoy like them – you want to eat lots of candies, watch television till late, and don't want to do homework (rather the daily chores) but if you don't do it, you're going to prove that you are a bad person. Now that's someting no one would like to hear, would they?